When I die, bury me on the golf course, so my husband will visit.
I don't say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes they'd come up sliced.
I've spent most of my life golfing. The rest I've just wasted.
They call it golf because all the other four-letter words were taken.
The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody would put a flag stick on top.
Pete Dye (His golf courses reflect this belief!!!)
Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.
Golf is a game in which you yell "fore," shoot six, and write down five.
Give me golf clubs, fresh air & a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?
The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.
Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite of what you are inclined to do, and you will probably come very close to having a perfect golf swing.
Go play golf. Go to the golf course. Hit the ball. Find the ball. Repeat until the ball is in the hole. Have fun. The end.
If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.
Golf is a game in which one endeavors to control a ball with implements ill adapted for the purpose.
A golfer's diet: live on greens as much as possible .
Gone golfin' ... be back about dark thirty.
Born to golf. Forced to work.
My body is here, but my mind has already teed off .
Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them.
May thy ball lie in green pastures .... and not in still waters.
If I hit it right, it's a slice. If I hit it left, it's a hook. If I hit it straight, it's a miracle.
The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.
Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of bagpipes.