Posts : 479
Join date : 2009-06-22
|Subject: Drunken Reincarnation Mon Jul 06, 2009 10:42 am|| |
James, as usual, came home really late one Saturday night after being at the bar all night drinking. Not only was he drunk, he was sloppy drunk. He carefully crept into bed next his wife, who fell sleep angry hours earlier, and gave her a goodnight kiss on the check in hopes that she wouldn’t wake up.
He awoke in the middle of the night to a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. “Who the hell are you,” demanded James, “and what are you doing in my bedroom?” The mysterious man answered “This is not your bedroom, and my name is St. Peter”.
James didn’t take the news so well… “You mean I’m dead! That can’t be, I have so much to live for, I haven’t even said goodbye to my family… you’ve got to send me back right away!”
St. Peter replied “You cannot go back as you were, you have passed away James. However, you can be reincarnated - but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.” James was devastated, but knowing that there was a farm just down the road from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.
A flash of light later, he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking at corn on the ground. “This ain’t so bad,” he thought until he felt a strange feeling churning inside him. The farmyard rooster strolled over and said “So you’re the new hen, huh? How are you enjoying your first day here?” “It’s not so bad” replies James, “but I have this strange feeling inside like I’m about to explode”. “You’re ovulating” explained the rooster, “haven’t you ever laid an egg before?”
“Never” replies James.
“Well just relax and let it happen.”
And so he did, and just a few uncomfortable seconds later an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him - emotions got the better of him as he experienced the joy motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him… ever!
The joy of motherhood continued to build and, just as he was just about to lay his third egg, he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shout “James, wake up you drunken bas*ard, you’re sh*tting the bed!”
Posts : 15650
Join date : 2009-06-18
Age : 41
Location : Typically OOB
|Subject: Re: Drunken Reincarnation Mon Jul 06, 2009 10:49 am|| |
Clearing my Storeroom
of golfing goodies. Please help support
"A ball will always come to rest halfway down a hill, unless there is sand or water at the bottom.
" Henry Beard
Super Active Golfer
Posts : 1505
Join date : 2009-06-19
Age : 51
Location : AMK Detention Barrack
Posts : 361
Join date : 2009-06-23
|Subject: Re: Drunken Reincarnation Mon Jul 06, 2009 3:08 pm|| |
haha i thought it was funny...
Super Active Golfer
Posts : 1121
Join date : 2009-06-21
|Subject: Re: Drunken Reincarnation Mon Jul 06, 2009 8:06 pm|| |
LOL when i read 'strange feeling inside him" i thought its the rooster
Hall of Fame Golfer
Posts : 7236
Join date : 2009-06-19
Location : Sillypore
|Subject: Re: Drunken Reincarnation Tue Jul 07, 2009 7:38 am|| |
i think very anti climax...
|Subject: Re: Drunken Reincarnation Today at 4:27 am|| |
Total Donation till date to
Autism Association (SG): S$46,285
|» Crocodile sighting in Singapore golf course|
by stickman Yesterday at 8:56 am
» How Accurate Were My 2016 Predictions? Did I Get It Right?
by tonyj50 Yesterday at 12:40 am
» Best place to buy Scotty Cameron? (USA vs SG)
by sibeiho Fri Dec 09, 2016 6:03 pm
» Mizuno Owners Thread - Soft and Buttery
by Bernie Tan Golf Coach Fri Dec 09, 2016 12:14 pm
» Looking for a set of beginner golf clubs
by Chunky Munky Wed Dec 07, 2016 1:53 pm
» Golf Training In Thailand
by Royston Tue Dec 06, 2016 2:28 pm
» Apple watch
by may_dream1 Tue Dec 06, 2016 10:40 am
» It Was A Dream Come True For 20 Golfers
by tonyj50 Tue Dec 06, 2016 9:06 am
» Changing of Grip...
by jng Mon Dec 05, 2016 5:34 pm
» Saturday 3 Dec, 839 Navy, NSRCC Changi
by andrew-golf Fri Dec 02, 2016 11:29 am
» LPGA Announces 2017 Schedule. Four New Events.
by tonyj50 Thu Dec 01, 2016 7:42 am
» Morning game at Sembawang 2nd Dec
by ancient warrior Wed Nov 30, 2016 12:13 pm
» LPGA Qualifying School Tournament - Final Stage!
by tonyj50 Wed Nov 30, 2016 6:31 am
» 2 Ladies looking for 2 more kakis at Bintan on Dec 3
by dayveed Wed Nov 30, 2016 1:27 am
» Citibank Prestige Card members
by TigaWood Tue Nov 29, 2016 9:56 pm
» Yamaha Classic Iron
by Yxgolfing Tue Nov 29, 2016 8:20 pm
» New member
by Yxgolfing Tue Nov 29, 2016 8:14 pm
» StarHill Country Club
by Bernie Tan Golf Coach Tue Nov 29, 2016 4:32 pm
» Club Glove - The Stiff Arm
by Nealwong Tue Nov 29, 2016 1:30 pm
» Anyone played Austin hills Cc recently?
by Nealwong Tue Nov 29, 2016 1:10 pm
» ELS Desaru Promotion Rate by me
by Prestige Teh Thu Nov 24, 2016 9:37 pm
» YouTube Golf Channel (by Yaozza)
by yaozza07 Thu Nov 24, 2016 4:46 pm
» Rating the 2016 LPGA Rookies - Final Analysis
by tonyj50 Thu Nov 24, 2016 4:45 am
» Non authetic golf pride grips
by Yxgolfing Tue Nov 22, 2016 7:23 pm
» Stats & Facts - Vol. 31.....2016 Finale. Whats Next?
by tonyj50 Tue Nov 22, 2016 5:42 am
» CME Group Tour Championship Preview, Pairings, and Lots More.
by tonyj50 Mon Nov 21, 2016 11:18 am
» Shot tracer app
by Daztasiumz Sat Nov 19, 2016 4:14 pm
» LPGA Announces New Tournament in Scotland!!
by tonyj50 Sat Nov 19, 2016 4:04 am
» Short Game Performance School @ Marina Bay GC and AimPoint Green Reading Classes @ NSRCC Changi, Singapore November 26th-27th
by SGGolfCoaching Thu Nov 17, 2016 9:13 pm
» Regular Weekend NSRCC games
by andrew-golf Thu Nov 17, 2016 3:45 pm
» Paula Creamer Parts Ways With Longtime Caddie!
by tonyj50 Thu Nov 17, 2016 8:21 am
» LPGA Announces New Tournament in New Zealand
by tonyj50 Thu Nov 17, 2016 6:48 am
» Lorena Ochoa Invitational Preview, Pairings, and Much More
by tonyj50 Mon Nov 14, 2016 8:16 am
» review on Renovated Laguna Bintan
by pocketace Sat Nov 12, 2016 10:45 pm
» Deemples - golf app to find golfers to play golf!
by dayveed Sat Nov 12, 2016 3:55 am
» Titleist 716 AP1 user please come in.
by Chunky Munky Fri Nov 11, 2016 3:59 pm
» Newbie looking for female khakis to play at Mandai executive course
by Bernie Tan Golf Coach Thu Nov 10, 2016 2:00 pm
» Beginners' game for high handicappers...
by izzx11 Wed Nov 09, 2016 2:57 pm
» Sembawang weekend golfer
by hometeamWill Wed Nov 09, 2016 12:50 pm
» Costcos Kirkland signature golf balls
by Daztasiumz Tue Nov 08, 2016 10:32 pm
» Friendship Golf on 4 Dec 2016
by desmondsoh Mon Nov 07, 2016 2:10 pm
» NSRCC Member List
by greenhacker Mon Nov 07, 2016 11:43 am
» Toto Japan Classic Preview, Pairings, and Much More.
by tonyj50 Sun Nov 06, 2016 4:50 pm
» Snell golf balls
by equin0x Sat Nov 05, 2016 6:51 pm
» SOLD : WTS Taylormade Rocketbladez Graphite 8 Irons (5-PAS) Japan Spec
by kim001 Sat Nov 05, 2016 5:09 pm