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Ssquirrel
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PostSubject: Friday Joke   Fri Dec 04, 2009 1:07 pm

I'm bored.. old joke for a gloomy friday albino

Installing Husband!
A woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy


Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and FOOTBALL 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?

Signed,

_______ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________
Reply


DEAR Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.Html and try to downloadTears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband1.0should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5..

However, remember, overuse of the above application can causeHusband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Good Looks 7.7.

Good Luck Madam!
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sunny
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PostSubject: Re: Friday Joke   Fri Dec 04, 2009 1:16 pm

must make sure that 'Cheetah Woods" program is uninstalled! It is a worm program

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slinger
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PostSubject: Re: Friday Joke   Fri Dec 04, 2009 1:24 pm

ss, how's your elbow......
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Ssquirrel
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PostSubject: Re: Friday Joke   Fri Dec 04, 2009 2:25 pm

elbow.. same same lor.. learn to live with the pain Sad

Last week went to see Ms. Du and tried the Huo Liao.. hahahah
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Lamts18
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PostSubject: Re: Friday Joke   Fri Dec 04, 2009 2:52 pm

Ssquirrel wrote:
elbow.. same same lor.. learn to live with the pain Sad

Last week went to see Ms. Du and tried the Huo Liao.. hahahah


SS ... take Glucosamine .... don wait till what happen to me ....
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sunny
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PostSubject: Re: Friday Joke   Fri Dec 04, 2009 4:39 pm

tendonities? Ligaments or what?

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Lamts18
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PostSubject: Re: Friday Joke   Fri Dec 04, 2009 4:43 pm

sunny wrote:
tendonities? Ligaments or what?


Sunny, you're still young !!!! dont apply to you..
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sunny
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PostSubject: Re: Friday Joke   Fri Dec 04, 2009 4:46 pm

No lah. I asking ssquirrel. Cos if it is tendonities i do know of a few good procedures to do each day

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Lamts18
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PostSubject: Re: Friday Joke   Fri Dec 04, 2009 4:50 pm

Wives 1.0

Last year a friend of mine upgraded Girlfriend 6.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it’s a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications. He is also noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning Child-processes which are further consuming valuable resources. What’s more there is no chance of upgrading Car 2.5 to the faster running version Car 3.0.

No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product literature or documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application. Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system initialisation where it can monitor all other system activity.

He’s finding that some applications such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before). At installation, Wife 1.0 automatically installs undesired Plug-ins such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release, (frequently unemployable for any useful purpose).

As a consequence system performance seems to diminish with each passing day. Some features he’d like to see in the upcoming Wife 2.0:

A "Don’t remind me again" button.
Minimise button and an
install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 to be installed with the option to uninstall at anytime without loss of cache and other system resources.
An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode which would allow the systems hardware probe feature to have greater use. I myself decided to avoid all the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 2.0. Even here, however I found many problems.
Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 2.0 over Girlfriend 1.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 1.0 first. Other users say this is a long standing bug which I should have been aware of. Apparently the versions of Girlfriend have conflicts over use of the I/O port. You think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now. To make things worse, the uninstall program for Girlfriend 1.0 doesn’t work very well leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system.

Another annoying problem with all versions of Girlfriend is that it continually pops up annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0.

BUG WARNING

Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before executing a self - uninstallation. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient system resources.

BUG WORK-ARROUNDS

To avoid the above bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and never run any file transfer applications such as Laplink 6.0.

Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to carry viruses that may affect Wife 1.0.
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Ssquirrel
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PostSubject: Re: Friday Joke   Fri Dec 04, 2009 10:45 pm

Sunny, thanks for your concern..
It's "tennis elbow or lateral epicondylitis".

I've read most of the stretches, exercises for this condition
Actually the Theraband flexbar exercises for tennis and golfers elbow seem to help a bit, but I get lazy and forget to do them until it's too late.. hahahaa..

Take care while you're still young.. do all those stretches that you read about; I didn't believe in them until I got old and too late.. hahah
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sunny
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PostSubject: Re: Friday Joke   Fri Dec 04, 2009 10:49 pm

it is still not too late now.

It would help you recover faster and make you less prone to relapse. Bear in mind that the tendons and muscles would be shorten due to the scarring and inflammation. If you do not continue those exercise, it would lead to excessive tear and swelling next time you start blasting those balls and it may recur again. Must take good care and make sure it is gone for good!

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PostSubject: Re: Friday Joke   Today at 6:25 am

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