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 Employment letter....

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Posts : 2514
Join date : 2009-06-19
Location : Singapore

PostSubject: Employment letter....   Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:20 pm

Not sure if you Guys have seen this, i find it very good...

Dear Employees:

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be considered for SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired-Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate. Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees. Should you feel you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Supervisor, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.


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Posts : 15650
Join date : 2009-06-18
Age : 41
Location : Typically OOB

PostSubject: Re: Employment letter....   Sat Jul 11, 2009 3:01 pm

Saw it before but good to read it again Smile Thanks!

Clearing my Storeroom of golfing goodies. Please help support Smile

"A ball will always come to rest halfway down a hill, unless there is sand or water at the bottom." Henry Beard
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