Bad Humour :
The Three Tests
A fellow walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be more than ten thousand dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and asks,
"What's with the money in the jar?"
"Well, you pay $10 and, if you pass three tests, you get all the money and the keys to a brand new Mercedes."
The man certainly isn't going to pass this up. So, he asks,
"What are the three tests?"
"You must pay first -- those are the rules," says the bartender.
So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender the $10 and the bartender drops it into the jar.
"Okay," says the bartender. "Here's what you need to do:
"First, you have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in a minute or less, and you can't make a face while doing it.
"Second, there's a pit bull chained in the back with a bad tooth. You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands.
"Third, there's a lady upstairs who has never had sex ... You have to take care of that problem!"
The man is stunned. "I know I paid my $10, but I'm not an idiot! I won't do it! You'd have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila and do all those other things ..."
"Your call," says the bartender ..."but your money stays where it is."
As time goes on, the man has a few more drinks. Finally he says,
"Where's the damn tequila?"
He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can. Tears stream down both cheeks, but he doesn't make a face, and he did it in 58 seconds!
Next, he staggers out the back door, where he sees the pit bull chained to a pole. Soon, the people inside the bar hear growling, biting, and screaming sounds ... then nothing but silence. Just when they think the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar, his shirt ripped open and he is bleeding from scratches and bites all over his body.
Using the back of his hand to wipe some blood off the corner of his mouth, he looks around the bar and says,
"Now, where's that woman with the bad tooth?"
The moral to the story:
< Listen carefully to the directions, and don't trust your judgment after a few drinks >