Written by a guy… it’s pretty damn smart. Girls — Have a sense of humor!
Posts : 479
Join date : 2009-06-22
|Subject: Written by a guy… it’s pretty damn smart. Girls — Have a sense of humor! Wed Jul 15, 2009 11:28 am|| |
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. So I've decided to put it to test :
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.”
I said, “WHAT??!! What was that?!”
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear…
“You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.”
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?”
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits.
She couldn’t decide which one to take, so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, “Lets get a pair for each outfit.”
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you… she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.
I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.”
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, “I think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.”
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.”
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, “WHAT?”
I then said, “Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.”
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”
Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either….but at least that bitch knows I’m smarter than her.
Posts : 15650
Join date : 2009-06-18
Age : 40
Location : Typically OOB
|Subject: Re: Written by a guy… it’s pretty damn smart. Girls — Have a sense of humor! Wed Jul 15, 2009 11:44 am|| |
Brilliant!! I'd try this at home but I value my nuts.
Clearing my Storeroom
of golfing goodies. Please help support
"A ball will always come to rest halfway down a hill, unless there is sand or water at the bottom.
" Henry Beard
Very Active Golfer
Posts : 680
Join date : 2009-06-24
Location : The 'fine' city of Singapore
|Subject: Re: Written by a guy… it’s pretty damn smart. Girls — Have a sense of humor! Wed Jul 15, 2009 5:47 pm|| |
Who was that women in America who castrated her husband with a kitchen knife while he was sleeping and was let off from a jail sentence?
(The court's verdict was that her actions were a direct result of emtional hysteria & mental duress!)
Super Active Golfer
Posts : 1120
Join date : 2009-06-21
|Subject: Re: Written by a guy… it’s pretty damn smart. Girls — Have a sense of humor! Wed Jul 15, 2009 6:13 pm|| |
just make sure she is not holding that supplementary platinum credit card (by where u are the main holder)
Posts : 15650
Join date : 2009-06-18
Age : 40
Location : Typically OOB
Incredibly Active Golfer
Posts : 2978
Join date : 2009-06-19
Age : 42
Location : Sinkapoh
|Subject: Re: Written by a guy… it’s pretty damn smart. Girls — Have a sense of humor! Wed Jul 15, 2009 9:41 pm|| |
My reply to this................ from a friend's email..."Ironies of life"
1. All men are extremely busy.
2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.
3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.
4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one around.
5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.
1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.
2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff.
3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.
4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.
5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "an old rag".
6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still expect you to compliment them.
7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't believe you.
WHEN I WAS MARRIED 25 YEARS, I TOOK A LOOK AT MY WIFE ONE DAY AND SAID,
"HONEY, 25 YEARS AGO WE HAD A CHEAP APARTMENT, A CHEAP CAR, SLEPT ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHED A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV, BUT I GOT TO SLEEP
EVERY NIGHT WITH A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD BLOND."
NOW WE HAVE A $2M HOME, A $245,000.00 CAR, NICE BIG BED AND 50" PLASMA SCREEN TV, BUT I'M SLEEPING WITH A 50-YEAR-OLD WOMAN. IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU ARE NOT HOLDING UP YOUR SIDE OF THINGS."
MY WIFE IS A VERY REASONABLE WOMAN. SHE TOLD ME TO GO OUT & FIND A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD BLONDE, AND SHE WOULD MAKE SURE THAT I WOULD ONCE AGAIN BE LIVING IN A CHEAP APARTMENT, DRIVING A CHEAP CAR, SLEEPING ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHING A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV.
|Subject: Re: Written by a guy… it’s pretty damn smart. Girls — Have a sense of humor! Today at 10:55 pm|| |
Total Donation till date to
Autism Association (SG): S$46,285
|» jBeam TD 450 Driver = my investment for 2016|
by Sean Lim Today at 3:34 pm
» Port Klang
by rt Today at 11:07 am
» A True LPGA Legend Retires: Farewell to Se Ri Pak.
by tonyj50 Today at 7:01 am
» Blue Bay LPGA Preview, Pairings and More.
by tonyj50 Today at 4:22 am
» Sembawang weekend golfer
by dayveed Yesterday at 10:59 am
» Titleist 917
by Sean Lim Yesterday at 10:47 am
» Customise belt buckle
by kop Yesterday at 9:33 am
» Micro Range at Turf Club
by rt Yesterday at 8:14 am
» Golf bags - OnOff vs Titleist
by willytan Wed Oct 19, 2016 9:37 pm
» NSRCC Member List
by Oozingmachizmo007 Tue Oct 18, 2016 3:56 pm
» Is TmCC range open to public?
by Bernie Tan Golf Coach Tue Oct 18, 2016 3:26 pm
» Anyone played Austin hills Cc recently?
by A Senior Tue Oct 18, 2016 12:37 pm
» Nelly Korda to join Sister Jessica on LPGA Tour in 2017.
by tonyj50 Mon Oct 17, 2016 6:40 am
» review on Renovated Laguna Bintan
by yogibear Sat Oct 15, 2016 3:44 pm
» WTS: Tanjong Puteri membership - life
by weBirdie Sat Oct 15, 2016 3:05 pm
» Club Glove - The Stiff Arm
by BruiseLee Tue Oct 11, 2016 10:24 pm
» Looking for kakis for Ria Bintan (29-30 May)
by andrewctk Mon Oct 10, 2016 3:14 pm
» OCC Tuesday Morning Game
by TFP Sun Oct 09, 2016 3:16 pm
» Fubon LPGA Taiwan Championship Preview, Pairings, and More.
by tonyj5 Sun Oct 09, 2016 12:55 am
» Replacing shaft for RBZ driver
by Sean76 Sat Oct 08, 2016 8:21 am
» Reignwood LPGA Classic Preview, Pairings and More (spoilers)
by tonyj5 Mon Oct 03, 2016 2:43 am
» Epon Forged
by babolat Sat Oct 01, 2016 5:31 pm
» Range practice
by babolat Sat Oct 01, 2016 5:30 pm
» New LPGA Tournament In Indianapolis Added to 2017 Schedule!
by tonyj5 Tue Sep 27, 2016 1:19 pm
» Arnold Palmer Passes Away at 87
by stickman Mon Sep 26, 2016 8:49 pm
» Look what postman just delivered
by Sean Lim Mon Sep 26, 2016 12:21 pm
» Korean LPGA Sung Hyun Park
by grwilliam Mon Sep 26, 2016 10:35 am
» PORESIA WEEKEND MEMBERS
by dayveed Sun Sep 25, 2016 9:23 am
» Deemples - golf app to find golfers to play golf!
by dayveed Sun Sep 25, 2016 12:26 am
» Stats & Facts Vol.30 / Asian Swing Field Numbers
by tonyj5 Fri Sep 23, 2016 3:21 am
» 1 Iron
by Sean Lim Fri Sep 23, 2016 12:26 am
» Foot Joy Sport BOA shoes
by Sean Lim Fri Sep 23, 2016 12:12 am
» Positive Feedback for Sigma Golf
by Sean Lim Thu Sep 22, 2016 9:34 pm
» Hi Golf Republic
by Bernie Tan Golf Coach Thu Sep 22, 2016 4:53 pm
» Titleist Club Fitting
by equin0x Wed Sep 21, 2016 7:43 pm
» Where to get premium jap heads
by babolat Wed Sep 21, 2016 12:44 pm
» Mizuno Iron
by Bernie Tan Golf Coach Wed Sep 21, 2016 11:58 am
» Driving range to play on grass
by babolat Wed Sep 21, 2016 1:01 am
» Tips on reading breaks and line of putts
by Sean Lim Tue Sep 20, 2016 4:58 pm
» Handicap test
by Bernie Tan Golf Coach Tue Sep 20, 2016 4:54 pm
by Bernie Tan Golf Coach Tue Sep 20, 2016 4:23 pm
» Looking for Putting Coach
by Sean Lim Tue Sep 20, 2016 12:09 pm
» Rolex Rankings Movers of the Year - Part 2
by tonyj5 Tue Sep 20, 2016 7:14 am
» The Evian Championship Preview, Pairings, and More.
by pocketace Mon Sep 19, 2016 3:09 pm
» Yip breaks world record to win Gold in Rio, $1m for her?
by flashpacker Fri Sep 16, 2016 8:13 pm