Posts : 479
Join date : 2009-06-22
|Subject: The cat and dog diary Tue Jun 23, 2009 11:43 am|| |
The Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
The Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now …
Greens Committee Member
Posts : 3575
Join date : 2009-06-17
Age : 41
|Subject: Re: The cat and dog diary Tue Jun 23, 2009 4:50 pm|| |
sounds like garfield versus odie
Incredibly Active Golfer
Posts : 2978
Join date : 2009-06-19
Age : 42
Location : Sinkapoh
|Subject: Re: The cat and dog diary Tue Jun 23, 2009 7:43 pm|| |
Ha ha ha...
What an entertaining piece!!!! The cat....the tormentor....
Super Active Golfer
Posts : 1505
Join date : 2009-06-19
Age : 51
Location : AMK Detention Barrack
Posts : 15650
Join date : 2009-06-18
Age : 41
Location : Typically OOB
|Subject: Re: The cat and dog diary Tue Jun 23, 2009 11:30 pm|| |
Good one!! I'm more the dog than cat, I think.
Clearing my Storeroom
of golfing goodies. Please help support
"A ball will always come to rest halfway down a hill, unless there is sand or water at the bottom.
" Henry Beard
Posts : 479
Join date : 2009-06-22
|Subject: Re: The cat and dog diary Wed Jun 24, 2009 9:51 am|| |
great to know that u guys enjoyed it...
got a few more but kinda funny but rather vulgar... so better don't post it...
|Subject: Re: The cat and dog diary Today at 6:10 pm|| |
Total Donation till date to
Autism Association (SG): S$46,285
|» NSRCC Member List|
by PaRrY Today at 10:17 am
» Port Klang
by rt Today at 9:48 am
» Good coaches in the East
by equin0x Yesterday at 10:27 pm
» Sime Darby LPGA Malaysia Preview, Pairings, and Much More.
by tonyj50 Yesterday at 3:34 pm
» Micro Range at Turf Club
by kennyky Mon Oct 24, 2016 3:48 pm
» Blue Bay LPGA Preview, Pairings and More.
by tonyj50 Sun Oct 23, 2016 4:16 pm
» jBeam TD 450 Driver = my investment for 2016
by andrew-golf Sat Oct 22, 2016 6:31 pm
» A True LPGA Legend Retires: Farewell to Se Ri Pak.
by tonyj50 Fri Oct 21, 2016 7:01 am
» Sembawang weekend golfer
by dayveed Thu Oct 20, 2016 10:59 am
» Titleist 917
by Sean Lim Thu Oct 20, 2016 10:47 am
» Customise belt buckle
by kop Thu Oct 20, 2016 9:33 am
» Golf bags - OnOff vs Titleist
by willytan Wed Oct 19, 2016 9:37 pm
» Is TmCC range open to public?
by Bernie Tan Golf Coach Tue Oct 18, 2016 3:26 pm
» Anyone played Austin hills Cc recently?
by A Senior Tue Oct 18, 2016 12:37 pm
» Nelly Korda to join Sister Jessica on LPGA Tour in 2017.
by tonyj50 Mon Oct 17, 2016 6:40 am
» review on Renovated Laguna Bintan
by yogibear Sat Oct 15, 2016 3:44 pm
» WTS: Tanjong Puteri membership - life
by weBirdie Sat Oct 15, 2016 3:05 pm
» Club Glove - The Stiff Arm
by BruiseLee Tue Oct 11, 2016 10:24 pm
» Looking for kakis for Ria Bintan (29-30 May)
by andrewctk Mon Oct 10, 2016 3:14 pm
» OCC Tuesday Morning Game
by TFP Sun Oct 09, 2016 3:16 pm
» Fubon LPGA Taiwan Championship Preview, Pairings, and More.
by tonyj5 Sun Oct 09, 2016 12:55 am
» Replacing shaft for RBZ driver
by Sean76 Sat Oct 08, 2016 8:21 am
» Reignwood LPGA Classic Preview, Pairings and More (spoilers)
by tonyj5 Mon Oct 03, 2016 2:43 am
» Epon Forged
by babolat Sat Oct 01, 2016 5:31 pm
» Range practice
by babolat Sat Oct 01, 2016 5:30 pm
» New LPGA Tournament In Indianapolis Added to 2017 Schedule!
by tonyj5 Tue Sep 27, 2016 1:19 pm
» Arnold Palmer Passes Away at 87
by stickman Mon Sep 26, 2016 8:49 pm
» Look what postman just delivered
by Sean Lim Mon Sep 26, 2016 12:21 pm
» Korean LPGA Sung Hyun Park
by grwilliam Mon Sep 26, 2016 10:35 am
» PORESIA WEEKEND MEMBERS
by dayveed Sun Sep 25, 2016 9:23 am
» Deemples - golf app to find golfers to play golf!
by dayveed Sun Sep 25, 2016 12:26 am
» Stats & Facts Vol.30 / Asian Swing Field Numbers
by tonyj5 Fri Sep 23, 2016 3:21 am
» 1 Iron
by Sean Lim Fri Sep 23, 2016 12:26 am
» Foot Joy Sport BOA shoes
by Sean Lim Fri Sep 23, 2016 12:12 am
» Positive Feedback for Sigma Golf
by Sean Lim Thu Sep 22, 2016 9:34 pm
» Hi Golf Republic
by Bernie Tan Golf Coach Thu Sep 22, 2016 4:53 pm
» Titleist Club Fitting
by equin0x Wed Sep 21, 2016 7:43 pm
» Where to get premium jap heads
by babolat Wed Sep 21, 2016 12:44 pm
» Mizuno Iron
by Bernie Tan Golf Coach Wed Sep 21, 2016 11:58 am
» Driving range to play on grass
by babolat Wed Sep 21, 2016 1:01 am
» Tips on reading breaks and line of putts
by Sean Lim Tue Sep 20, 2016 4:58 pm
» Handicap test
by Bernie Tan Golf Coach Tue Sep 20, 2016 4:54 pm
by Bernie Tan Golf Coach Tue Sep 20, 2016 4:23 pm
» Looking for Putting Coach
by Sean Lim Tue Sep 20, 2016 12:09 pm
» Rolex Rankings Movers of the Year - Part 2
by tonyj5 Tue Sep 20, 2016 7:14 am