Posts : 479
Join date : 2009-06-22
|Subject: The cat and dog diary Tue Jun 23, 2009 11:43 am|| |
The Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
The Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now …
Greens Committee Member
Posts : 3575
Join date : 2009-06-17
Age : 42
|Subject: Re: The cat and dog diary Tue Jun 23, 2009 4:50 pm|| |
sounds like garfield versus odie
Incredibly Active Golfer
Posts : 2978
Join date : 2009-06-19
Age : 42
Location : Sinkapoh
|Subject: Re: The cat and dog diary Tue Jun 23, 2009 7:43 pm|| |
Ha ha ha...
What an entertaining piece!!!! The cat....the tormentor....
Super Active Golfer
Posts : 1505
Join date : 2009-06-19
Age : 51
Location : AMK Detention Barrack
Posts : 15650
Join date : 2009-06-18
Age : 41
Location : Typically OOB
|Subject: Re: The cat and dog diary Tue Jun 23, 2009 11:30 pm|| |
Good one!! I'm more the dog than cat, I think.
Clearing my Storeroom
of golfing goodies. Please help support
"A ball will always come to rest halfway down a hill, unless there is sand or water at the bottom.
" Henry Beard
Posts : 479
Join date : 2009-06-22
|Subject: Re: The cat and dog diary Wed Jun 24, 2009 9:51 am|| |
great to know that u guys enjoyed it...
got a few more but kinda funny but rather vulgar... so better don't post it...
|Subject: Re: The cat and dog diary Today at 12:29 pm|| |
Total Donation till date to
Autism Association (SG): S$46,285
|» How to fix erratic game? |
by matoonia Today at 9:58 am
» SMBC Sentosa 19 - 22 January 2017
by kop Tue Jan 17, 2017 1:54 pm
» My Top 40 Player of the Year Predictions for 2017
by tonyj50 Tue Jan 17, 2017 6:33 am
» Looking for a set of beginner golf clubs
by Guitar Sat Jan 14, 2017 6:15 pm
» Beginners' game for high handicappers...
by dayveed Sat Jan 14, 2017 12:54 am
» Beginner Golfer
by dayveed Fri Jan 13, 2017 12:32 am
by Noriki Thu Jan 12, 2017 3:49 pm
» Sembawang weekend golfer
by avante1624 Thu Jan 12, 2017 10:24 am
» Ten Questions for the 2017 Season
by tonyj50 Thu Jan 12, 2017 7:40 am
» YouTube Golf Channel (by Yaozza)
by mizunoshen Wed Jan 11, 2017 5:47 pm
» New member
by Chelwin Mon Jan 09, 2017 3:57 pm
» Most Popular Photos of the Year - 2016
by etsk22 Mon Jan 09, 2017 1:36 pm
» kids to learn golf
by Bernie Tan Golf Coach Sat Jan 07, 2017 1:29 pm
» Best credit card benefits for golf
by Titlelisten Fri Jan 06, 2017 6:09 pm
» Sunday Morning NSRCC Kranji 853am (18 dec)
by dayveed Wed Jan 04, 2017 11:37 pm
» Regular Weekend NSRCC games
by dayveed Wed Jan 04, 2017 11:36 pm
» Palm Resort all courses booked by Korean Jan to Feb 2017 - Avoid Reminder till March
by dayveed Wed Jan 04, 2017 11:34 pm
» last minute ponderosa tomorrow Thursday 5jan 7:30am
by dayveed Wed Jan 04, 2017 10:13 pm
» Bye Bye Raffles CC
by oldie-newbie Wed Jan 04, 2017 10:00 pm
» Rolex Rankings Movers of the Year - Final
by tonyj50 Tue Jan 03, 2017 7:16 am
» Warren 6 Jan'17 (Friday) 12.30pm - avail 2 ball slot
by golf_nut Sat Dec 31, 2016 3:21 pm
» Hi Golf Republic
by gcwlim Fri Dec 30, 2016 6:47 pm
» Good coaches in the East
by Bernie Tan Golf Coach Thu Dec 29, 2016 1:18 pm
» Golf Training In Thailand
by Artloh Tue Dec 27, 2016 10:11 pm
» Top LPGA Moments of 2016
by tonyj50 Tue Dec 27, 2016 8:00 am
» No idea how much these are worth
by teegem Mon Dec 26, 2016 6:27 pm
» Golf Bags
by lousyswinger Thu Dec 22, 2016 8:48 pm
» LPGA 2017 Priority List
by tonyj50 Thu Dec 22, 2016 8:37 am
» How Well Were My Pre-Season Questions Answered?
by tonyj50 Tue Dec 20, 2016 8:17 am
» Best place to buy Scotty Cameron? (USA vs SG)
by nkglfrs Sat Dec 17, 2016 9:30 pm
» Johor game on 18th December
by dayveed Fri Dec 16, 2016 12:23 am
» Little John Daly
by Daztasiumz Tue Dec 13, 2016 11:15 am
» ELS Desaru Promotion Rate by me
by chien Tue Dec 13, 2016 9:50 am
» Surprises & Disappointments - 2016 Final
by tonyj50 Tue Dec 13, 2016 8:48 am
» Crocodile sighting in Singapore golf course
by stickman Sat Dec 10, 2016 8:56 am
» How Accurate Were My 2016 Predictions? Did I Get It Right?
by tonyj50 Sat Dec 10, 2016 12:40 am
» Mizuno Owners Thread - Soft and Buttery
by Bernie Tan Golf Coach Fri Dec 09, 2016 12:14 pm
» Apple watch
by may_dream1 Tue Dec 06, 2016 10:40 am
» It Was A Dream Come True For 20 Golfers
by tonyj50 Tue Dec 06, 2016 9:06 am
» Changing of Grip...
by jng Mon Dec 05, 2016 5:34 pm
» Saturday 3 Dec, 839 Navy, NSRCC Changi
by andrew-golf Fri Dec 02, 2016 11:29 am
» LPGA Announces 2017 Schedule. Four New Events.
by tonyj50 Thu Dec 01, 2016 7:42 am
» Morning game at Sembawang 2nd Dec
by ancient warrior Wed Nov 30, 2016 12:13 pm
» LPGA Qualifying School Tournament - Final Stage!
by tonyj50 Wed Nov 30, 2016 6:31 am
» 2 Ladies looking for 2 more kakis at Bintan on Dec 3
by dayveed Wed Nov 30, 2016 1:27 am