"Where am I? How did I get here? Why does my head hurt?"
"You're in a hospital, sir. I'm with the police. We weren't sure you were going to wake up. You had a golf club wrapped around your neck. Just tell us everything you remember."
"Well, I was teaching my wife golf and of course, I won every hole. But on the little par 3, 17th hole, we both hit right to the green, and we both putted right to the pin. When I walked to the flag, I saw one putt had overshot, but the other ball had apparently sunk. I didn't know whose it was, so I pulled the flag, looked in, saw it was her noodle ball in there, and I said, 'Looks like your hole, dear.'"
"That was the last thing I remember."